I don’t normally post on Sundays (this blog is my job, and I don’t work on Sundays). But this is something I need to share with you, because I need you to know more about my journey.
I need you to know it before the thoughts crawl out of my head.
So here we are. A non-job post on a Sunday, on a blog that otherwise counts as my job.
I started this blog wanting to rekindle a passion for life in others. It has grown into a blog where I strive to rekindle others’ passion for writing with a focus on poetry, but hoping that it helps anybody do anything positive and uplifting and loving and passionate and yes, I know that’s a run on sentence.
I know I am comparatively unskilled, and I strive not to give one tenth of a rip about that. I want you to know that passion is the single most important thing in all of this. Skill is learned over time by doing the thing you want to do over and over until you get the skill level you wanted..and often, you continue pushing the goal higher.
Passion can grow, and must be maintained in much the same way as skill, but skill will not get you anyplace by itself.
I love having passion for my writing and this blog. I don’t have a lot of things I can be passionate about, so passion is precious to me (that’s depression for you: sucking the passion out of everything since just about the beginning of time).
My writing saved me. It was unskilled writing (I was new-ish to this whole poetry thing), but it gave me the power to communicate the awful things I’d been through. I got to see the inner workings of my mind, and the inner-inner workings that I don’t know that I would have ever comprehended without it.
I do have a point. Writing in this unskilled manner, I finally was able to see, hear, and express. In clawing out of where I was to where I would be, I gained the ability and desire to help you do the same.
If I, as that teenager, had given up and never written because it wasn’t instantly perfect…I can’t bear the thought of what might be lost. Not that I’m so pivotally important to absolutely everyone, but I could already be to someone. Or I gave someone an extra warmth to do something that seems small now, but gets giant later?
And, really, where and who would I be? (Not that writing is the only thing that ever helped, but I don’t know how well anything would have done without it.) That’s the scariest, because I get glimpses sometimes.
Sometimes even the half-known, the quarter-known, the hundredth-known, is far more frightening than the known. At least the unknown could have something good or awesome in it! (Knowing my luck, it’s an oncoming train, but I’ve been ecstatically surprised plenty often.)
I’ve already got threads of misanthropy running through my inner cloth. There’s threads of violence. Threads of brutality. Threads of anger. Threads of things that have no name, but are real-life eldritch horrors. I don’t want to know where I’d be if it was more than just a couple threads of each thing. And I know writing helped unify all the good stuff and made sure the bad didn’t get even one real shot at me.
If your writing only ever helps you to see, hear, express, and speak, then it has given you an unspeakably precious gift. Anyone who tells you otherwise really needs to be ignored, at least in that moment when those words come out of them. And if they actively fight your creativity…oh. Grrrr on them.
I love you all. And I know, I don’t know you. You’re important to me and I love you. You’re a person, you have worth. I believe you to be a child of God, the same as me. So that makes us brothers and sisters, and so that is my reason to love you. (But I’d do it anyway. :) )
<3 I hope today is a blessed one for you. And if some rotten stuff is getting in the way, I'll send Godzilla in and let him chomp on the nasty problem messing up your day. Or week. Or month, or decade...or hour, or minute, or second. You deserve happiness. <3 P.S.: I know I don't control Godzilla, but sometimes I wish I did. Some problems really make you wish you had a Godzilla on call to chomp them away for you. :) (and then you'd...I don't know, pet him and feed him lots of...Godzilla chow, because he only bites problems and food, not anything else. Imagination is fun!)